slipping out into the sky

Your body sinks into mine I feel a rush of relief and paranoia. Lying still, praying to a God that has turned his back on me. Just one more night, I tell myself just hold it together for one more night. It takes every inch of my empty soul to not let loose to not give in to not kiss you like I need to. It wasn't a mistake, if anything it was a miscalculation. A simple miscalculation that could have been overlooked by any one of us. And no matter how high I get or how far I go I will never escape this feeling of pure loss. I lost something I never had, I lost something people search their whole lives for. All I can do is hope that next time I see the beauty that could be and not just the heartbreak that follows.