It's never been better, but then again it's never been worse.

I can count the number of things that have made me sad on one hand. Actual one of them didn't make me sad I just took notice to what had happened and I didn't like it too much. The other...the other was something that made me feel so many emotions I almost curled up into a ball and died. After that one passed the emotion drained out of me, it was hell I thought i'd never be normal again. Strange, I was normal for a few years now i'm back to my normal. It's odd to think people go around feeling that way constantly. Sure the emotions I felt for some time were the worst of the worst but still people must experience them a fair amount. Many would say that not feeling complex human emotions would make someone strong, it doesn't. I'm weak, on the fair occasion I feel any simple emotions I don't know how to handle them. I never had the chance to learn. That's all I want is someone to teach me, show me how to act and feel. She tried and that was like the blind leading the blind. To those of you who read this and didn't know most of this already, I apoligize for letting you know this. It is selfish of me to tell people i'm this way because i'm not the one who will hurt afterwards. And that is the only thing that makes me sad. In fact it tears me up inside, knowing I can never love you like you love me. That's not to say I don't, I do. I just don't feel in the same ways as you.

i love you as much as i can.